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Joke of the Day
"I like my Reddit posts like I like my internet search history [deleted]"
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"The woman next to me on this roller-coaster won't stop screaming and shouting. It's like she's never seen a penis before."
"The one thing you can get your dog to do that your wife won't Come"
"What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick"
"""Hi, I'm Garfield, a cat who hates Mondays. But I'm here to tell you that there's nothing lasagna' about global warming."""
"The five stages of Sunday: depression, anger, bargaining, acceptance, HBO"
"The worst is when you wake up hung over and you didn't even drink the night before."
"This bathroom attendant is a little overzealous. I can shake ""it"" myself. Also, I am not in the bathroom."
"As a grown adult man, good luck trying to scare me with anything besides a gun, or common household insects."
"Anyone that says there are no stupid questions has never had to explain to a 5 year old why there are no pink bananas 267 times today."