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Joke of the Day

"My doctor told me I should be on a staple diet. I told him I don't think I can digest metal and walked out."

"What If When You Die They Ask You ""How Was Heaven?"""

"Hey, did you hear about that top secret explosion? Me neither. No one did. It's top secret. We're probably on a list already for talking about it."

"When using the equation Y=1-T to understand how citizens react to changes in taxation...what happens when T>1? Alot of T gets dumped in a harbor"

"[1st Day after wildebeests take over] I'm safe in my house [Day 7] Thought I heard clattering [Day 21] THEY CAN OPEN DOORS WITH THEIR HOOVES"

"It's 2012. We're supposed to have flying cars and stuff. But no... Just pajamas that look like jeans."

"I never understood movie scenes where they have to train assassins. just drop me in some hot climate, don't feed me and I'll kill everyone."

"What element can you find in almost any shoe store? Heelium! I'll see myself out now..."

"Why did the rancher vivisect his daughter? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . He wanted to reverse cowgirl."

"What do you call a sleepwalking Nun? A roamin catholic"