137090

Joke of the Day

"It's 2012. We're supposed to have flying cars and stuff. But no... Just pajamas that look like jeans."

"I'd rather someone ask if they can have one of my internal organs than ask if they can borrow my cell phone."

"Did you see the movie about the demolition team? It did a great job of breaking the fourth wall."

"What is a jewish golfer's favorite vegetable? A parsnip."

"I never considered typos to be that big of a deal until the day I dialed 921."

"Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I'll ever get to being a magician"

"I'm all set for Friday night: got my mac 'n cheese dinner, 40 oz., 'Steel Magnolias' DVD, Twitter friends and tears."

"Why can't you play UNO with Mexicans? They steal all the green cards."

"Bart Simpson's chalkboard was the original twitter."

"What did the gladiator say when he was surrounded by nearly 100 men? IC"