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Joke of the Day

"Hope Rod Stewart knows that Maggie May stopped listening to the song when he sang, ""The morning sun in your face really shows your age."""

"I'm working in a bar and a woman walks in and asks for a double entendre. So I gave her one"

"What was Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro."

"What was the first profession to go all digital? Proctology."

"Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say ""don't"" and if he touches your pussy say ""stop""? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said ""don't stop"". "

"I can't stand people who end sentences with prepositions! It just pisses me off!"

"Please, person who just said ""libary"", tell me more about what an avid reader you are."

"ARUGULA is my favorite vegetable whose name sounds like a car horn from the 50's."

"Friends with benefits who are bad at sex ...are hard to come by."

"""Open Mike Night"" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I'd been invited to an autopsy."