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Joke of the Day

"Me: Siri, how do I look? Siri: Well, at least you tried"

"[reading test results] ""It looks like you're gonna be just fine"" [nurse whispers in ear] ""Lol my bad u got like 6 weeks"" -Steve Harvey M.D."

"Why can you never trust a car made in the Soviet Union? They keep Lenin to the left, and Stalin."

"I do a spot-on impression of a man in his 30's not living up to his full potential..."

"Biology: The science of writing awesome bios."

"If a tiger attacks your mother-in-law and your wife at the same time, whom would u save? Man : Off course, the tiger.. very few are left"

"Why do people with the Flu stand in corners? Its always 90 Degrees"

"My Life: Wake up, Survive, Sleep"

"You hear about the love struck super magnets? Whenever they met face to face, they just couldn't seem to connect, however the moment one turned to walk away, they were nearly inseparable."

"Why didn't Wile E. Coyote just spend all that Acme money to buy an actual dinner?"