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Joke of the Day

"I do a spot-on impression of a man in his 30's not living up to his full potential..."

"Got bored last night and tried looking up the spanish translation of ""do not use"", but it ended up being no use."

"My Dad bought some candles from the store They seem pretty lit"

"I gave my friend a gluestick instead of chapstick last weekend and she's still not talking to me."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer. What do you call a dead deer with no eyes? Still, no eye deer."

"Good news The doctor took his patient into the room and said, ""I have some good news and some bad news."" The patient said, ""Give me the good news."" ""They're going to name a disease after you."""

"Van Halen on tour in 2012! I doubt the Mayans realized they'd be up against ""Drop Dead Legs"" when they predicted the end of the world."

"Wine and cheese pair well together bc they are both the expired byproducts of other foods enjoy your trash snack rich people"

"I wonder why the ingredients on a snickers wrapper says ""May contain almonds."" What, is the guy who drops in the almonds a slacker?"

"What do you call a below average sized dog? A sub woofer Yeah, I know I'm barking up the wrong sub reddit."