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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a girl without boobs? **Justin Bieber**"

"My Wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall... I said maybe.........."

"strong password Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars."

"Have you ever heard about Mothers Against Drunk Driving's lesser known sister organization ""Fathers Against Drunk Driving""? Probably not, it didn't last very long, it was only a fad."

"Me [trying to sound intellectual]: okay, okay which came first turkey the bird or Turkey the *points at map*"

"What's the difference between a Brit and an American? The Brit got kicked out and the American did the kicking."

"Me: I have to lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise everyday. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet, eat healthy and hit the gym. Me: Is that cake?"

"Did you hear about the new British period drama? They're calling it Bloody Hell."

"My girlfriend left because of my terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impression. But don't worry... I'll return."

"Girlfriend kept nagging at me to put the toilet seat down. So here I am, crying in the middle of a field, with the seat & a shotgun."