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Joke of the Day

"7yo: MOMMA DO YOU THINK YOU'LL EVER GET A 6-PACK OR ARE YOU JUST GONNA BE FAT Me: *slowly shreds Pokemon cards w/out breaking eye contact*"

"Java programmers do it with... class."

"What does a baby computer call his father? Data."

"u think u had a bad day? smh think about the tree that just got cut down to make flyers for the next nickelback concert"

"What is the last sound you hear before a pussy hair hits the ground? (spitting sound)"

"When I greeted my boss in the morning, he told me to have a good day. Who am I to argue? So I thanked him and went back home."

"I just taught the dance floor a fucking lesson."

"Half the time, I don't know if I'm in /r/jokes or /r/shower thoughts."

"Drunk girls whisper in caps lock."

"Why the young tailor couldn't finish his father's pants? Because he had no pocket money."