30354

Joke of the Day

"*Cop yells at dog* LADY WHAT ARE U DOING *dog continues to give birth* THATS IT UR GETTING A TICKET FOR *looks directly at camera* LITTERING"

"Why was the Boy having trouble finding power in the Cul-de-sac? There was no outlet"

"Who hired those 10 Americans to go to Brazil and pretend like they like soccer?"

"Now that Jeremy Lin is playing so well for the Knicks.. It appears that the NBA is now a Black/Thai affair."

"Columbus thought he landed in the Far East. But he landed in the Far West by occident."

"What's everyone doing for Seis de Mayo?"

"flames on the side of your car screams i want small children to think im badass but i want parents to know im not financially stable"

"""I think i'm having a heart attack. Quick! Dad, call me a doctor..."" ""You're a Doctor."""

"[bankruptcy court] JUDGE: Didn't you do any financial planning? ME: *lips pressed on mic* Yes, your Honor, I was planning on having finances"

"Look at the name 'Morgan Freeman' and then TRY not to read things in Morgan Freeman's voice. See? You can't."