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Joke of the Day

"What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle? The weekend!"

"The punchline Did I ruin this joke?"

"Kid: Waaaahhhhh! MY TOY IS BROKEN! Dad: Nothing a little duct tape can't fix. Kid: mrnm... mmrm.. rnmr..."

"Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Because he had a hole in one."

"Women often claim that men are 'only after one thing'. Nonsense. They have mouths and arseholes too."

"Squirrels before girls."

"What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Phelps can finish a race"

"There is nothing like the sound of a child's laughter to remind you that your apartment is haunted."

"Why was the mother flea feeling down in the dumps? Because she thought her children were all going to the dogs."

"My new girlfriend wants to meet my dad But I do too."