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Joke of the Day

"Women often claim that men are 'only after one thing'. Nonsense. They have mouths and arseholes too."

"A co-pilot walks into a library and asks for a number of books on suicide. The librarian says ""Are you going to take them all out with you""? ""Hmmm"" he replies ""That's a good idea"""

"Always been a favourite of mine. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."

"How do you get an Indian girl pregnant? Poppadom."

"How many feminist does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they don't change anything."

"Just once, wouldn't it be good to hear an athlete thank Natural Selection for his team's victory?"

"Cheating is such an ugly way to put it. I like to think of it as outsourcing my sex life."

"I'm calling Facebook ""Mom"" now because all it does is tell me who from my high school is engaged and remind me about my cousins' birthdays."

"Did you hear about Helen Keller's dating life? because I heard she wasn't seeing anyone"

"Anyone want to do the laundry for me? Im exhausted. I can pay you in beanie babies or hot monkey sex. The monkey's name is Earl. He bites."