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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a black person that can fly a plane? A pilot, you racist fucks. P.S Wasn't that well received in anti-jokes, so I figured it might work better here."

"Where does the General keep hs armies? In his sleevies."

"[blind date] Her: I was so scared you'd be a weirdo Me [revving chainsaw]: I CANT HEAR YOU"

"I heard dhiarrea is hereditary It runs in your jeans."

"Why are there no living cats on Mars? Because curiosity killed them all."

"Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The Wheelchair (Dont hate me)"

"Any one want to get a Helen Keller thread going? What do you do after you rape Helen Keller? Break her fingers so she can't tell her mom."

" You're born. You grow up. You believe in Santa. You stop believing in Santa. You look like Santa. You are Santa. You die."

"As a kid I've always wanted to be Batman when I grew up but then i was disappointed by a sudden realization... I have parents"

"Twitter announced today that they've lost 134 million dollars this year. I don't know if they want us to look for it or what the deal is."