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Joke of the Day

"What is Spider-Man's favorite rice? Uncle Bens!"

"I thought I'd found the perfect website to help me overcome my fear of flying until it crashed."

"Aww, you ""only wish the best for your exes?"" That's cool, I lie about things too."

"""Pool"" in Spanish is ""Piscina"". They know."

"COMPUTER: HINT: name of best friend ME: Jen C: Jen sounds nice M: Wh-what? C: Is Jen single? M: Uh... C: Answer the question. Is Jen single?"

"For the past couple of years, I have been saying that the only holidays worth celebrating are the equinoxes and the solstices. I find all of the others to be astronomically unimportant."

"""I'm a great listener."" - The US government on a first date."

"Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Neither have they."

"What did the fresh egg say to the boiling pot of water? ""It's going to take me a while to get hard, I just got laid this morning."""

"It takes many nails to build a crib... ...but only one screw to fill it."