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Joke of the Day

"My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means she can eat anything off the floor if she waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter."

"A photon checks into a hotel... A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. ""No thanks, I'm traveling light."""

"What does a tweaker and a Jehovah's Witness have in common? Both ride bicycles and are on a mission."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I've never paid to have lentil on me."

"When did 888 equal zero???? When Eight ate eight"

"What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? The canoe occasionally tips."

"Why do hamburgers and hot dogs fuck their cousins? Because they're inbred!"

"Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers licence ? A: She wasn't used to the front seat!"

"Why was Cleopatra angry? She was on her pyramid. Stolen from Whose Line Is It Anyway."

"How can you tell if a redditor is a pedophile? When you make an ELI5 post, you end up receiving a dick pic."