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Joke of the Day

"Why did the skeptic man have high blood pressure? Because he kept taking advice with a pinch of salt!"

"What did the politician with a cold talk about at his meeting? The important tissues. (I know it sucks, I just made it up)"

"Hey, maybe one time we could make a sitcom where the husband is out of the wife's league and the wife says stupid shit all the time."

"Why did Adele cross the road?? To say hello from the other side."

"New drinking game: Draw a card, if it's black take a shot... I call it Ferguson."

"You think God hates crosses? If my kid died on a roller coaster, then everyone started wearing roller coaster necklaces, I'd be pissed."

"Friend: I want a baby. Me: Remember when your neighbor was practicing the clarinet at 1AM? It's like that, but you can't call the cops."

"What does a White hole and a stoner in a herb plantation have in common There both spewing out Thyme"

"Friend: OMG did u see the thing on the news about the sinister clowns? Me: *flashback to me watching the debate* yeah I think I saw that"

"So I thought I would share a time travel joke with you guys.. But you didn't like it."