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Joke of the Day

"911: what's your emergency? me: what's YOUR emergency? 911: *starts crying* omg no one's ever asked me that before! me: jk I've been stabbed"

"Jokes (Water) Teacher: What is the formula for water? Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O. "

"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered six offender."

"It only took three years but I finally finished eating that box of taquitos from Costco."

"Why did Tigger look down the toilet? To find Pooh!"

"A fly walks into a bar... and asks: ""Is this stool taken?"""

"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ? He heard the ref was blowing fouls"

"What does a Jewish man get when he runs into a wall with an erection? a broken nose."

"Whipped cream is just shaving cream that does whatever it's girlfriend tells it to do."

"My boyfriend just texted me, ""We need to talk."" I think he's going to propose!"