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Joke of the Day
"Back off, doc. I'll close this wound. Suture self."
Next Joke
"My friend asked if I would stop singing Maroon 5 songs. I said: ""I don't think so."""
"What does a bartender give you when you need the feeling of a strong drink, but you're not allowed ton consume alcohol? Xanax since he's a Bartender"
"To their credit, selfie sticks may be the only proof future archaeologists have to dispute the notion cameras grew directly out of our arms"
"What is programmers' favorite wine? [yellow tail]"
"What's a pirate's favorite move in chess? Check, matey."
"What did the American guy say to the French guy at the urinal ""Hey, ur a peein'!"""
"What is long, black and smelly? The unemployment line."
"My friend told me his wife talks a lot in her sleep ""I know"" was probably not the right answer"
"If cloning ever becomes real, I want 3 triceratops. I even already have names for them. Oneceratops, Twoceratops, and Jeff."