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Joke of the Day

"To their credit, selfie sticks may be the only proof future archaeologists have to dispute the notion cameras grew directly out of our arms"

"The neighbors love it when I practice piano. They break my window to hear me better."

"No matter how kind you are German children are kinder."

"Remember, if we get caught, you are deaf and I speak no English."

"I got the early bird special at Denny's. Don't do it, these worms taste like shit."

"Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because the paracetemol."

"So the jerk store called and they're running out of HB2!"

"Two flies are sitting on a piece of shit One fly passes gas and the other looks at him, ""Come on man, I'm eating over here!"""

"Cop: do you know why I was following you? Me: WAS following? Wait you unfollowed me? Cop:haha Me:haha Cop... Me... Is it cause of the drugs?"

"Why do Asains have small penises they don't like being 'rong'"