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Joke of the Day
"What is programmers' favorite wine? [yellow tail]"
Next Joke
"No one shot Rick Ross - when you're that big you're BOUND to be hit by a random stray bullet now and then"
"Next time someone wants you to hold a baby, say ""I'm so bad with live babies!"""
"What is the most prudent thing to do when someone is having an epileptic seizure in a hot tub? Throw in your laundry."
"What happens when you get your girlfriend pregnant? You shove a coathanger up her vagina."
"Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work because the dog just goes ""Cool, now we're both barking!"""
"What's long, black, and smelly? The unemployment line"
"*turns TV off* ""THEY HAD CAMERAS EVERYWHERE BUT NOBODY SAW THE TOYS WALKING AROUND?!"" - me every time I watch Toy Story 3"
"What do you call a white girl that runs faster than her brothers? A redneck virgin"
"Remember when we cried as kids and our parents said, ""I'll give you something to cry about"" We thought they were going to hit us but instead they destroyed the housing market."