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Joke of the Day

"What's a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear sir, Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage. Sincerely, your service provider."

"Q: What do you call a cracked window? A: A pane in the glass."

"Coworker: it's dark already Me: I know, Dan. I have eyes CoW: it's only 5 'o clock Me: I KNOW DAN CoW: it's early Me: THAT'S HOW EARTH WORKS"

"A man walks into a bar ""Ouch!"""

"How do you spell women backwards? Kitchen"

"Apparently, 4 people die every year trying to put their pants on... - me, explaining to my (ex)boss why I went in with no pants"

"Drinks at the bar should be served in capri sun-like pouches, and if you can't get the straw in, you are cut off."

"The worst thing about Muhammad Ali sending a ""Tweet"" to Mayweather . . . Ali couldn't type it and Mayweather couldn't read it."

"Customer: Waiter I can't eat this meal. Waiter: Why not? It looks all right to me. Customer: I don't have a fork."

"There's a dead squirrel in the driveway. Mrs. Liebowitz is worried that the death might be gang-related. She's checking FOX News to be sure."