198763

Joke of the Day

"Me: Can I bet $20 on the Panthers to win the Super Bowl? Government: Sorry, no Me: Ok, can I buy 1k in powerball tickets? G: Lol, of course"

"Q: What do you call the study of the purchase of tree parts? A: Stem sell research."

"When in doubt, just do the opposite of whatever the girl with glitter on her face does."

"Googled 'how to start a fire' got 10000 matches"

"The bad news: I shaved off my beard. The good news: none of my co-workers recognize me and have stopped talking to me."

"I like my presidents like I like my slaves Cautious and skeptical about ideas that start off with ""I ran"""

"What's your favorite pick up line? Mine is the Ford F Series."

"What would the Pilsbury Doughboy be if photos of him were constantly being put on magazine covers? A roll model."

"How does Kylo Ren celebrate Father's Day? Solo"

"I took the bus home when I was drunk yesterday Unfortunately they made me give it back today"