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Joke of the Day

"""OPEN UP, THIS IS THE POLICE!"" haha, no way losers. I've got things to do. *cop whispering* ""what do we do? this guy is owning us hard!"""

"Whenever Adobe Flash tells me to update I download and install an even older version, that's MY revolution"

"did you hear about that kidnapping in Texas? He woke up."

"Cars Why do lazy people only drive automatics? Because they're shiftless."

"Did you hear Han Solo will be running next years London Marathon? He says he reckons he'll be able to finish in less than 26 miles"

"IPHONES... When I wants to talks to someones."

"Did you know that ants are free? You can just take one!"

"What's another name for black pitbull? Flo Rida"

"How is Reddit like fencing? Ripostes everywhere."

"To defeat Superman, Batman will sneak in Superman's house when he's asleep and dig for any weaknesses. You could say, he's going to creep tonight."