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Joke of the Day

"Everyone has a best friend who's mom they've wanted to fuck I like to think of my older brother as my best friend"

"Why did the policeman stay in bed today? he was undercover *!*"

"My body is 99 degrees And the flu might add a few more (I fuckin suck at jokes)"

"What is long and hard on a black man? Third grade."

"Food trucks: Because the problem with most grilled cheese sandwiches is you don't spend 20 minutes breathing exhaust."

"Just Got The New Note 7 I guess you could say its pretty lit."

"opinions are like birthdays.. everybody has one & I only know yours because of Facebook."

"Barry decided that because he had talked himself out of suicide every other day, today he would do it. Poor fucker always did take opposite day a bit too seriously."

"*sees happy person* Can u stop that"

"My dad wants to open a funeral home.. Doss Family Mortuary : ""We'll take care of your stiffies for you"""