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Joke of the Day

"I don't believe ppl who ""don't masturbate cuz it's not the real thing."" When I run out of Frosted Flakes, I put sugar on my Corn Flakes."

"What happened to the native man that drank 23 cups of tea? He went home and drowned in his tea pee."

"I had a friend who was a mushroom He was a fungi."

"Beached whale Today I got in trouble at work for throwing water on a lady... I just thought that's what your suppose to do for a beached whale"

"[NSFW] What is the difference between two towers? A plane"

"What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter"

"to the scum photoshopping bandanas on my wedding photos, STOP. my wife has a bad memory & is in tears, she thinks she married a bandana guy"

"People that pronounce vase like ""voz"" make me want to punch them in the foz."

"[At restaurant] I'm so hungry I could eat a horse! But I'm on a diet so... [To waiter] Do you have diet horse?"

"There are four guys walking down the sidewalk. The first three walk into a bar. The last one ducked."