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Joke of the Day

"I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won't give him a divorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him a happy man."

"You've probably heard of Davy Jones' locker, but do you know who Davy Jones is? He's a Sea-Monkee."

"Why couldn't the Great Ape tell a story? Because he doesn't have a tail."

"Vagina jokes are not funny Period."

"Grammar is: 1. How we structure our sentences. 2. Grandpa's wife. Some of you will pick number two."

"What's the difference between two dicks and a joke? I can't take a joke."

"Why didn't the dog speak to his foot ? Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw !"

"How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? She starts to fit into your wife's clothes."

"[throws dirty diaper away] - OMG WHAT R U DOING?! - it's gross im not touching that - GET THE BABY OUT OF THE TRASH & CHANGE IT! - ugh, fine"

"Why was the sun wearing sunglasses? So he could creep hard on uranus"