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Joke of the Day

"What happens when you fingerbang a gypsy on her period? You get your palm red."

"A blonde went to buy 2 bananas The seller told her that he didn't have change and asked if she wanted one more, the blonde responded ""Okay, i will eat one""."

"Sex positions for tiny dicks Fuck, this isn't google. **How do I get this off of here?**"

"Why do 95% of black males like sex in the shower? The other 5% aren't in jail."

"I lost my dishwasher, washingmashine, dryer, iron, stove, and vacumcleaner today. Her funeral will be this saturday."

"A Racist, a viciously jealous wife and a socialist walk into a room... Welcome to the US General election debate!"

"[watches you eat my bday cake] ""I've poisoned that."" ""Haha very [clasps chest & begins panting] w-with what?"" [leans in & winks] ""Poison."""

"Please follow the instructions 1) Read all instructions 2) Sacrifice a goat 3) Cut off your fingers 4) Eat glass 5) Only do number one"

"How do you upset a plumber? Kidnap his princess."

"Why did Simba's dad die? Because he didn't Muv-fasta"