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Joke of the Day
"Why did Simba's dad die? Because he didn't Muv-fasta"
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a snow-man and a snow-woman? Snowballs."
"In 5 yrs I will be drinking from a crystal decanter discussing affairs & murders in my upper middle class community. Also, I will have a hat"
"If 'real life' was really that great, Twitter wouldn't be so fucking addictive."
"Why is Jesus so bad at hockey? Because he keeps getting nailed to the boards!"
"I said hi to Ellen Pao today She told me to stop being sexist"
"What's the difference between a 3 figure and a 4-figure suit? 1 figure, literally and figuratively."
"Why was the broom late? Because it over swept! (Source: Thomas and Friends - Edward the hero)"
"What did the little cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? My toe sis!"
"Q: What does it mean if a guy remembers the color of a woman's eyes after a first date? A: She has small tits."