29462
Joke of the Day
"I joined a Cold War reenactment group. We just sit around and act nervous about the USSR."
Next Joke
"Why is it called a Wonder Bra? When she takes it off you wonder where her tits went."
"What is the hardest part about sleeping with twenty one year olds? There is twenty of them"
"A girl asked me for a dick pic. I told her sorry, my phone doesn't take panoramic pics."
"My wife likes to talk after sex She calls me from the motel"
"WIFE: You know, you're my best friend! Am I your best friend? ME: [subtly exchanges knowing glance with our dog] Of course you are, sweetie"
"Some girl just caught me staring at her crotch so I gave her two thumbs up. She only deserved one, but it's the holidays and shit."
"My memory is warped and skips often You could call it phonographic"
"A sadist walks up to a masochist... The masochist says ""hurt me"". The sadist says ""no""."
"I'm 87% sure ""snooze button"" time is sped up and ""waiting for the microwave"" time is slowed down and this is not okay."