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Joke of the Day

"Cat: LET ME OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW! Me: *Staggers out of bed. Opens door* Cat: *lies down on doormat*: You are dismissed."

"Did you hear about the Indian who drank too much tea? Yep, he died in his tea pee."

"How can you find a blind guy at a nude beach? Oh come on, it's not hard..."

"What's black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron."

"I usually read this subreddit on a toilet,... ...so that I dont shit my pants."

"My local newspaper was holding a pun contest. So I submitted ten and I was sure one was going to win, but no pun in ten did."

"Apparently you can survive just by eating plants. That's something I haven't herbivore."

"Why don't they use Macs/iPads in hospitals? Because using an Apple a day keeps the doctors away."

"How many women are necessary to change a lightbulb? One... but, what does it matter if she will ask a man to do it?!"

"""Enjoying your day off?"" - what Jewish people say to each other on Christmas."