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Joke of the Day

"Apparently you can survive just by eating plants. That's something I haven't herbivore."

"The only two things I hate are Racism and The Portuguese"

"My wife is getting rid of all the clutter. If you see the kids and me standing out by the street, it means we didn't make the cut this year."

"If Hide and Seek was created by the Arabs... It would be called Hide and Sheikh"

"A pirate walks into a bar... Ouch."

"Should have never gave my cat a lemon, now heis walking around like a sour puss."

"Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because someone threw a fridge at her...."

"""All you need is love."" -billionaire musicians"

"growing up my sister was a cutter... thankfully, she got help and no longer cut herself; she would just ask me to do it..."

"The hardest part of parenting is standing idly by while your children build a mediocre couch fort."