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Joke of the Day

"You strike me as one of those people who show up and debunk all the fun in the last 2 minutes of an otherwise scintillating UFO TV program."

"A white supremacist, racist, and antisemite walk into a bar Oh wait, that's the White House"

"fishing is like girls Neither care about size when they're sleeping"

"I only had a few friends before I got on Twitter. Now I don't have any."

"Went to India and let me tell you, never seen so many taxi drivers in my life!They work in restaurants, banks even in hospitals over there."

"How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Call her and tell her."

"Ferguson jokes... Are always a riot."

"If you're gonna take the high road,wear a skirt. I need something to look at from the low road."

"How many male chauvinists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Let the bitch wash the dishes in the dark."

"For most people when you lose your ""khakis"" you've lost your pants. When you're from Boston & lose your ""khakis"" you can't start your car."