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Joke of the Day

"Parachute joke if your parachute doesn't deploy, you have the rest of your life to fix it!"

"What do you call a child with no arms and no legs swimming in a pool? Bob."

"Reddit is too too mean to fat people. You guys really need to lay off. They already have enough on their plates."

"Why does Thanksgiving feel like a date with Bill Cosby? You wake up 3 hours later drowsy and wondering why you feel like you just got stuffed with dark meat"

"i am skeptical of the concept ""Too Big To Fail"" mainly because i am extremely big and i fail constantly"

"Where do literal dogs live? On the roof."

"I basically have three hairstyles. 1. Straight 2. Wavy 3. Homeless"

"Opinions are like assholes.. Everybody's got one; Most of them aren't that pretty; and No one needs another one."

"It's confusing for me too, but I don't need your money so you're going to have to be a nice guy if this is going to work out."

"What do you call a Jamaican who likes spaghetti? A Pastafarian."