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Joke of the Day

"Some days it's little things, the tone of his voice or his words when we're alone, that help me realize I'd rather have the insurance money."

Next Joke
 
"How did the man feel when he got a big bill from the electric company? He was shocked."
"My hell is a giant Bath & Body Works store ...where all the women answer yes/no questions with ""stories""."
"You don't need to use your words if you're carrying a machete. People just seem to figure it out."
"What is long, black and smelly? The unemployment line."
"""Every cloud has a silver lining."" - Terribly inaccurate meteorologist"
"I have a time phobia. *looks at watch, panics *looks at clock, panics *looks at thyme ""This I can handle."""
"Did you know that national middle child day was last week? Yeah... Nobody else did either..."
"I made a girl wet yesterday. I took away her umbrella."
"Me: Ping me when you are free. Girl:Ok. *Starts working in 2 Shifts*"