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Joke of the Day
"A feminist and a fascist walks into a bar She orders a glass of wine"
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"It's so cold outside that the hookers downtown are charging 20 to blow your hands"
"They should make another Taken film about how unappreciative Neesons' family is for saving them every other day Taken 4: Granted."
"When I die, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like Fidel Castro ... ... not screaming in terror, like his victims."
"My mind's telling me ""No!"" But my body, my body's telling me ""There's that chicken salad in the fridge."""
"Why are Taco Tuesdays so hot? Because of the spicy anal you get that night."
"When I go outside in the winter... I like to put my codon"
"Jesus one said: ""he who lives by the sword will die by the sword"" Apparently Jesus loved crossfit"
"I wear lipstick when I go into Walmart so people know I'm not approachable or one of their kind"
"I was lucky enough to meet and have an excellent conversation with the worlds leading brain surgeon. Best cab ride ever."