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Joke of the Day
"Have you heard about these new Oak woord, gold-finished coffins? Apparently they're to die for."
Next Joke
"So far my favorite villain in the Superman/Batman movie is the casting director."
"Words can't describe how beautiful you are. But, numbers can. 4/10"
"What's the coolest answer to a multi-choice question? B)"
"'When I go to the bathroom at work and someone follows me in' Doctor: I meant is there anything worrying you, physically"
"Unless you can explain how you know me in three words or less, Facebook Friend Request: DENIED."
"Bikini season is just around the corner. Unfortunately, so is the Mexican restaurant."
"What do you call a valley girl giving a blowjob for louis vuittons? Head over heels"
"Happy birthday George Lucas. To celebrate we'll be removing the iconic happy birthday song from your party & replacing it with a worse song."
"1. Rent storage unit 2. Procure 3 bodies at morgue 3. Place bodies in storage unit 4. Stop making payments 5. Wait. Best Storage Wars Ever"