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Joke of the Day

"The difference between Christian wives and Jewish wives? Christian wives have fake jewelry and real orgasms."

"Yeah, conservatives. I will marry a dog. I'll marry 12 dogs. I'm a dog mormon now."

"If a young boy dog is called a puppy... then what is a young girl dog called? A puppet!"

"What did the New Zealand naval officer say to his crew? All hands on dick...."

"What happens when you eat fireworks? Your hair comes out in bangs."

"There are two typos of people in the world... ... those who proofread, and those who don't."

"There sure are a lot of hot Canadian chicks on Twitter....if I knew Canadian, I would totally hit on them."

"A kid asks if they had colors in the 1930s. Yeah, but you didn't see them all the way in the back of the bus."

"Drug dealing is a great occupation because if it doesn't work out, you can always tutor children in fractions."

"Last year my ex got mad at me because I was masturbating during a shower.. ..which usually wouldn't be a big deal, but.... It was a baby shower."