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Joke of the Day
"Men are like pillows. Eventually even the best ones get soft and lumpy."
Next Joke
"What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist fuck"
"Books keep falling on my head.... I've only got myshelf to blame"
"I spend 90% of my time in Texas doing u-turns under highway overpasses trying to get somewhere I can see but can't drive to for some reason."
"I've finally achieved my lifelong dream of becoming a stand-up comedian Thank you prosthetic legs!"
"A Couple of underscores is to a couple of underscores? Ok. RT @McDonalds: #ShamrockShake is to spring as _____ is to _______."
"Double cheeseburgers don't make you fat, eating them does."
"The person sleeping next to you is statistically more likely to murder you than any other person on the entire planet. Do the dishes."
"Many call me an elastic band The more you pull, the harder I cum"
"I'm such a disaster that 9/11 and The Titanic would go out on a date together and watch a movie about me."