37410

Joke of the Day

"Books keep falling on my head.... I've only got myshelf to blame"

"What did the homeowners of house haunted by windows have? Phantom panes."

"""You're attachment is too large,"" my computer tells me. I blush. ""My eyes are up here,"" I respond coyly."

"i made up a joke once one day i made up a joke, but i am lactose intolerant and so i died"

"I had tears in my eyes when my dad chopped up Onions I loved Onions. He was a great dog."

"Why doesn't God like grapefruit? Because he doesn't fucking exist."

"I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model."

"What do epidemiologists do? How about kinesiologists? Study epidemies....and kinesies."

"I love my girlfriend's dog, ""Missy."" She messes inside a lot though, especially if I show too much attention to the dog."

"[at seance] Me: If you truly are a ghost why don't you move this object Ghost: If you truly are a human why don't you get your shit together"