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Joke of the Day

"I have a relative who died in a concentration camp.... He fell off the guard tower."

"How do you get down off a horse? You don't, you get down off a duck."

"Teacher and Student Teacher: Why are you late? Student: Because of the sign on the road. Teacher: What type of sign? Student: The sign that says, ""School Ahead, Go Slow.""!"

"Shift the power at family gatherings by telling older relatives you didn't recognize them because they've gotten so big."

"What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scot? One says ""hey, you, get off of my cloud"", and the other says ""hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe""."

"How can you tell a Minnesota hockey fan? Ask him what color the blue line is and wait. It may take him ten minutes to answer."

"Two things I hate: 1) People who form negative opinions of celebrities based only on what they see or hear on TV. 2) Justin Bieber."

"[labels account ""18+""] [tweets exclusively about voting & buying cigarettes legally]"

"What's worse than your doctor telling you that you have gonorrhea? Getting the news from your dentist"

"I hated Sex Ed at school. Or 'Sexy Edward', to give him his full name."