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Joke of the Day

"[META] banned phrase suggestion Can we get an auto removal / deletion on any joke that has ""sorry"" at the end? Nothing kills a joke for me like having someone apologize for it."

"I combined National Pancake Day with International Women's Day Took my wife to IHOP and ordered a stack of pancakes for myself, and 8/10ths of a stack for her."

"how many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None"

"I hit a kid with my car last night Then I realized it was only a goat."

"Dracula & Frankenstein are in the heavyweight championship. Who wins? Dracula. Frankenstein went down for the count."

"I recently started dating a woman in a wheelchair, and I stood her up. Not surprisingly that's when she fell for me...and you know what, it became a bit of a drag...but now we're on a roll."

"You are living, you occupy space and you have mass. You know what that means... You matter!"

"Why don't tornadoes watch Bill O'Reilly on FOXNEWS? -It is a no spin zone"

"I have three kids, one of each."

"I got 4,627 problems and 697 of them are toothpicks, 884 of them are threads on my pillow, 3,045 are leaves on these trees, and OCD is 1."