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Joke of the Day

"I recently started dating a woman in a wheelchair, and I stood her up. Not surprisingly that's when she fell for me...and you know what, it became a bit of a drag...but now we're on a roll."

"Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam's banana. "

"How do you make a cat bark like a dog? Cover it in lighter fluid and throw a match at it: ""WOOF!"""

"What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? I've never made a vitamin..."

"[Conspiracy Theory] The second Darth Vader slashed off Luke Skywalker's hand, Luke became... ...Hand Solo."

"""Well that can't be right."" - dogs watching us catching balls with our hands"

"I once knew a dyslexic priest He always said ""woof"" instead of ""amen""."

"Damn girl you like ice Tea Like Mr. T but cooler"

"How much cocaine is 2 much? Do u think security will view me ridding the elevator from the 1st to 2nd floor for the past 3hrs suspicious??"

"What did the russian say before Putin penetrated his asshole? *russian accent* Put it in Putin!"