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Joke of the Day

"Did i ever tell you the story about how I climed mount everest? I made it up"

"""911, what's your emergency?"" Hi i need to report a kidnapping. My son is taking a nap in my room right now."

"What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths? Trigger-nometry... I'll see myself out."

"Sasquatch is just a regular quatch who tells it like it is."

"Based on Harrison's choice of best place to land, golfers are the most dispensable."

"What does cheese say when you take its picture? Make sure you get my Gouda side!"

"I'm sorry sir, your wife didn't make it. Was it *sniff* the lack of prayers on Facebook? Yes sir, I'm afraid it was."

"Q: What's a good place for water-skiing? A: A sloped lake."

"What vegetable needs a plumber? A leek."

"""i am trapped in a loveless marriage help me obi-wan you're my only hope"" ""use divorce, luke"""