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Joke of the Day

"MURDERER: *while murdering me* I feel like you're not taking this seriously. ME: *eating a Belgian waffle* Wut?"

"Why does the French flag have Velcro? So the blue and red sections are easily removed during a time of war."

"What did the midget get when he ran under the strippers legs? A flap in the face."

"A sandwich walks into a bar... ...and the bartender says, ""I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."""

"I just clogged a urinal?"

"What do you call a group of white people sitting on the bench? A basketball team."

"My neighbour has diabetes and now she won't make me cupcakes anymore, its like bad things always happen to me."

"Why do we call it politics? Because poly means many and ticks mean blood-sucking parasites."

"Did you guys see the goal from half field today in the World Cup? It was a great U.S. attack from Midway"

"How do you kill a snail? With an as-salt rifle!"