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Joke of the Day

"""Did you know Jesus was a carpenter?"" -every carpenter, 100 times a day."

"There was a robbery in Antarctica, but it was stopped. There was even a party to celebrate Justice was served"

"What is green and flies above Poland? Peter Pansky"

"If you're ever being mugged just shout THERE'S A BEE ON YOU the thief'll freak out and run away haha what a baby problem solved"

"What bounces and makes little children cry? My donation check to Feed the Children!"

"Why was Sir Lancelot too tired to jump over the moat? He didn't get a good knight's leap. Wakka wakka!"

"What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit The Frog's dick..."

"I was a mentally ill homeless alcoholic until that fateful day when the man in a blazer said, ""get a job pal."""

"Q: How many buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three - one to change it, one to not-change it and one to both change-and not-change it."

"This one time in high school I was called to the front of the class while I had hardest boner I ever had. It was the only time I thanked God for giving me a micro penis."