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Joke of the Day

"Morning wood starts the best fire."

"You're IQ's lower than your shoe size."

"I saw my neighbour jogging at 1am this morning and said ""It's a bit late for you Kathy, isn't it ?"". She said ""I couldn't sleep"". I said ""That's not what I meant, you fat b*tch""...."

"Three cows are standing in a field. Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease? Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter Cow 3: Holy shit a talking cow!"

"Fun tip - instead of going on vacation with a baby, stand outside until you're sunburned, then light $1,000 on fire."

"Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner"

"How many physiotherapists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just give the dead bulb some exercises to do and hope it will be working a bit better the next time they see it."

"Why Did The One Handed Man Cross The Road? So he could get to the second hand store!"

"If life gives you melons... You might be dyslexic."

"Apparently not checking the mail is not a valid excuse for not paying your bills. The more you know."