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Joke of the Day

"Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner"

"How do you refer to a necessary bear? Pandatory. Stupid, I know."

"What does Batman say when he goes down on a woman? To the bat cave!"

"In an English class... Teacher: David, give me a sentence starting with ""I."" David: I is... Teacher: No, David. You must always say ""I am."" David: Oh right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

"Whats reddits favorite tv show? The OC."

"An accountant at a bank was constipated Apparently he couldn't budget, but he worked it out with a pencil and paper and it was all good."

"If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don't be open."

"*Girl comes out in a slinky dress* ME: Ooh that looks like fun *I push her down the stairs*"

"Last week, my friends and I went to a topless bar... ...but we had to leave right away because it started raining."

"What do a midget and a dwarf have in common? Very little."