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Joke of the Day

"GUYS! You'll never guess what I just did for a Klondike Bar! I took my wallet out of my back pocket and gave the cashier $1.29, plus tax."

"Little Mortie got a real surprise when he barged into his parents' room one night. ""And you slap me for sucking my thumb?"" he screamed."

"My microwave broke. So, we're finding innovative alternatives. Did y'all know the surface on top of the oven heats up, too? Honest to God."

"Thankful that Americans have one day a year when they can overindulge."

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they're both stuck up bitches."

"Pease don't make fun of dyslexic dwarfs! It's not big and it's not clever!"

"If you had to choose between having a love life, or a lifetime supply of pudding: How much chocolate pudding would you eat that first day?"

"All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy. "

"[edits wikipedia so the facts i made up for my school paper work]"

"Why was the cheese so sad? Because it was provOLONE"