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Joke of the Day

"*Signs into Facebook ""If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best"" is posted everywhere *Agrees *Deletes Facebook"

"Boss: I thought I said no costumes this week. Me: These are my clothes."

"What do you call the retarded guy that follows the band around? The Drummer"

"Once I went to a zoo with only one animal. It was a shih tzu."

"Nice try, Clooney ""wedding."" I know a casino heist when I see one."

"Who Makes More Money, A Prostitute Or A Drug Dealer? A prostitute. Because a prostitute can always wash her crack and resell it."

"Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it."

"Lame, But funny. What did the traffic light say to the car? . . ""Don't look, I am changing"" Hahahaha XD"

"I'm not racist... I own a color tv!"

"My boyfriend called my skirt a petticoat and now he's paying bills using a quill on parchment paper wearing his wooden false teeth."