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Joke of the Day

"Riding a horse can be difficult. You could always choose to ride a mule instead... but that would be half-assed."

"Kanye joins One Direction as a replacement for Zayn... He kicks everyone out of the band and says: ""If there's only one direction, it's West."""

"I, for one, is a pretty weak Scrabble play."

"Grilled cheese is just regular cheese that's been forced to account for its whereabouts last night between 9:30 and 11."

"Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field."

"Today, my wife found a pair of her sister's panties in our room. They were in my laundry pile, next to my boxers. Now she's mad, because I told her it was only a brief affair."

"My wife really wanted a dog, so I bought her a pug. Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat, the dog really seems to like her."

"What do you call a cow with only three legs? A wonky."

"I used to be addicted to soap But I'm clean now."

"What's Irish and sits by the pool? Paddy O'Furniture"