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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cow with only three legs? A wonky."

"Went to the disco last night... Went to the disco last night. They played Twist, so I did the Twist. They played Jump, so I jumped. They played Come on Eileen, I got kicked out for that one.."

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... ...not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car"

"Why are horses never overweight? They're on a stable diet."

"Did you ever hear about the guy who got both his left arm and left leg chewed off by bears? Yeah I saw him a few weeks ago, he's all right"

"Did you hear about the writer who brought peace to the Middle East? He had a way with Kurds."

"I like my coffee like i like my women. Ground up and in the fridge."

"When i apply to the job... Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: Well, I've always been really passionate about not starving to death."

"I went to China and couldn't find a single Catholic church... I guess they must have heard about the ""One-child only"" policy"

"The headline ""WORLD'S OLDEST PERSON DIES"" could also be ""WORLD HAS NEW OLDEST PERSON""."